The Total Woman Thinking Positively about the Man Nobody Knows

 

You must live your whole life according to the Christ you have received – Jesus the Lord; you must be rooted in him and built on him and held firm by the faith you have been taught, and full of thanksgiving.

  Make sure that no one traps you and deprives you of your freedom by some second-hand, empty, rational philosophy based on the principles of this world instead of on Christ.

I swear I didn’t plan this – which shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows me, since you therefore know that I hardly plan anything. Things just happen.

So today, when I thought I’d spend some time railing about culture-and-religion, here’s the first reading from Mass – Paul to the Colossians railing on them about culture-and-religion.

Gracias, Paul.

You might be wondering about the book cover up there. People of a certain age recognize it, but here’s the explanation for the young folks. A huge – huge – bestseller back in 1974, The Total Woman by Marabel Morgan was one evangelical woman’s Bible-based prescription for reviving your marriage, via some sexy, fun, submission – and not the S & M kind, not really. Okay, not at all.

The point is – it was the true Flavor of the Month in Christian publishing back then. Sold millions and millions of copies  – it was the bestselling nonfiction book of 1974 . Not just the bestselling religious nonfiction book. The bestselling nonfiction book, period. 

Super, super popular. Why? Because millions found it – wait for it – inspiring and encouraging. It reflected the cultural moment in a circular kind of way: an evangelical woman’s response to a culture steeped in secular feminism of a particular kind. It would never be mistaken for anything timeless.  It was absolutely of its time and place. The Total Woman could only have been written when it was, just The Power of Positive Thinking clearly reflects American in the 50’s, and The Man Nobody Knows  – one of the bestselling books of the 20th century – doesn’t evoke 873 Byzantium or 1267 France or even 1754 England – no, nothing but pre-Depression America here, the era of Babbitt and a flourishing Main Street:

It conquered not because there was any demand for another religion but because Jesus knew how, and taught his followers how, to catch the attention of the indifferent, and translate a great spiritual conception into terms of practical self-concern. Surely no one will consider us lacking in reverence if we say that every one of the “principles of modern salesmanship” on which business men so much pride themselves, are brilliantly exemplified in Jesus’ talk and work. The first of these and perhaps the most important is the necessity for “putting yourself in step with your prospect.” A great

sales manager used to illustrate it in this way; 

“When you want to get aboard a street car which is already in motion, you don’t run at it from right angles and try to make the platform in one wild leap,” he would say. “If you do, you are likely to find yourself on the floor. No, You run along beside the car, increasing your pace until you are moving just as rapidly as it is moving and in the same direction. Then you step aboard easily, without danger or jolt.

“The minds of busy men are in motion,” he would continue. “They are engaged with some- thing very different from the thought you have to present. You can’t jump directly at them and expect to make an effective landing. You must put yourself in the other man’s place; try to imagine what he is thinking; let your first remark be in line with his thoughts; follow it by another with which you know he will easily agree. Thus, gradually,  two minds reach a point where they can join without conflict. You encourage him to say ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ and ‘that’s right’ and ‘I’ve noticed that myself,’ until he says the final ‘yes’ which is your favorable decision.” 

Jesus taught all this without ever teaching it. Every one of his conversations, every contact between his mind and others, is worthy of the attentive study of any sales manager

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So we have the main points of his [Jesus’] business philosophy:

1. Whoever will be great must render great service.

2. Whoever will find himself at the top must be willing to lose himself at the bottom.

3. The big rewards come to those who travel the second, undemanded mile.

Judas would have sneered at all this. Not a bad fellow at heart, he had the virtues and the weaknesses of the small bore business man. 

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Trends, fashions and fads. Popular religion reflects them. Religious practice reflects the culture in which it exists in great and small ways. We are not disembodied angels. We are embodied, Jesus was Incarnate, and the Church is His Body, He dwells in His tent among us and so this is who we embodied humans know Him – or anything. We can’t be or do anything else.

But perhaps this quick glance at some powerful spiritual fads of the past decades might remind us that a testing, discerning spirit is essential to the healthy, holistic Christian life. We know what Paul tells us – now we see through a glass but darkly – but do we know it? Do we admit that we are no different? 

Discernment is at the core of the Christian life. Not obsessive self-absorption (remember what St. Jane de Chantal says about that), but a clear-eyed sifting, every day, of the wheat from the chaff. More than anything else it means a fundamental attitude of humility about our own experience and prejudices.

It means admitting, in all humility, that I probably will always opt for the easy way out, for the way that flatters me and my biases, that doesn’t challenge my comfort or my choices, that helps me live in my particular social and cultural milieu with ease.

It means resisting the temptation to rest comfortably.

We can chuckle at the saran-wrapped Total Woman and the business-flattering positive thinker and at Jesus the First Ad Man, but really? Are we so different? What about us?

What about the values celebrated by the pop spirituality of 2019? Or even simply in general in American Christianity, no matter where you find yourself on Sunday morning or Wednesday night?

How about:

The flourishing Christian life is about discovering and embracing who God created you to be, using those gifts, celebrating  those gifts and talents, and using them in a big way to set the world on fire. You are loved, accepted and simply amazing and God’s going to use you to do big things.

Pick it apart. Not much wrong with any of it. In fact, it may be something many of us need to hear – to overcome our horrible childhoods or demeaning present, to fight the demons – truly, the demons – that would blind us to the fact that God created each of us, out of infinite love, on purpose, and that Christ died for love of us. Us. 

I have often thought that in a materialist (in the philosophical sense) world, in which people are taught that they are not much more than an accident of colliding cells in this unimaginably huge universe – yes, a reminder of the individual’s eternal value and purpose is an essential element of pre-evangelization. Essential.

But at some point, you’re going to read the Gospel. At some point, if you’re Catholic, you’re going to encounter the lives and writings of the saints. And perhaps that will be the point at which you look at the constant affirmation and push to get out there and be amazing, compare it to what has been said and lived before, and you might just wonder.

Is the Christian life really no more than living out one long high school graduation speech, day by day, every day?

Or could it be that this enormously popular equating of Christian flourishing with achievement and success reflects the present moment, as the enormously popular Norman Vincent Peale reflected his?

That it reflects

• A privileged, prosperous culture. Far from survival mode, characterized by mobility and personal choice.
• A culture that values and privileges outward appearance: fitness and physical attractiveness
• A culture that emphasizes personal achievement as a measure of personal worth – whether that achievement be reaching your fitness goals, attaining a certain educational and professional goal – just setting those goals high and reaching for them!
• And one more time: a privileged, prosperous culture in which choice is prioritized because you can choose.

I have a little test I apply when trying to discern whether or not a spiritual message is close to the authentic core of the Gospel or at a culturally-comfortable distance from it. Here it is:

Could I say these words with a straight face to an impoverished mother holding a sick child in a refugee camp?

Or to put it in a more culturally-comfortable format – the meme:

What does this mean? Total falsehood? Rank heresy? Of course not. Simply what all of our attempts are – incomplete, partial and subject to critique in the light of the Gospel and the deeper tradition.

Also consider this:

Someone once said to me that every preacher has essentially one sermon he’s preaching – and it’s to himself. Over and over, he’s exploring the Gospel in really the only way he can – in light of his own experiences and journey. If you take this and start listening to homilies, sermons and even spiritual messages from “influencers” – you can hear it. One priest I knew was a very, very organized person and valued The Plan more than anything else – and his homilies reflected his gratitude for God’s plan – week after week. Another older priest was clearly in tune with his mortality – and every single homily managed to touch on the reality confronting us all – no matter what the readings, the feast, or the season. Read Scott Hahn? You’re going to hear about covenant. Every. Time. 

I’ve got my hobbyhorses in teaching and parenting, and you probably do too. More often than not, our Life Message Themes reflect our own histories: what we’ve overcome, what we’ve found helpful – what’s saved us.

So take this for what it’s worth regarding the loudest voices in American popular spirituality, no matter what the denomination, no matter what the platform – the megachurch, the bestseller, the internet presence. These people, for the most part, are going to be people who have worked hard to achieve what they’ve determined are Big Things. They seek broad influence. That’s them. That’s the self and those are the priorities they’re working from. That’s their sermon. Take it, then, with that grain of salt. Appreciate the good, but understand – they’re speaking out of their own experience, reflecting their own priorities – and doing so in a format and venue that suits and supports that particular take: persona-centered mass media.

And finally (finally!) we’re circling back to that mashup of medium and message. An individual seeks a broad influence through using a persona-centered platform – it’s not surprising that the message they preach just might be a variation of – fulfillment is to be found in trying to make a big impact on the world in a big way. 

But.

Test everything. 

This is not quite traditional Christian – by that I mean Catholic, sorry – spirituality.

A few weeks ago, I entered a discussion on Facebook – something I rarely do – about art, saints and spirituality. Someone wondered why there weren’t more artistic representations of ordinary people doing ordinary but still spiritually weighty things. Why all the traditionally “inspirational” Catholic art was of saints being martyred and all extra – wouldn’t it be helpful to have more everyday images around?

My argument was this: in previous eras, even “ordinary” Catholics lived a spirituality that formed them to understand that no matter who they were, in what circumstances, they could be a saint. Not only “could be”  – but were expected to strive for sanctity. That was the purpose of the Christian life – to be a saint. People were taught that every small daily sacrifice, performed out of love, joined them to Christ’s sacrifice. They were each called to be saints, and God would give them the path to sanctity within the context of their ordinary lives – most of which were led in one spot on earth, with little or no choice of “career” or even spouse. 

Life goal?

Survive until next week, first off. Then we’ll talk.

An image of St. Sebastian pierced by arrows or St. Catherine with her wheel or martyrs in the midst of flames worked as a reminder, not of what might come in the future, or something that was a distant goal for holier people than you, but of the meaning of the sacrifices they were making that day, in that moment: the work one did for one’s family exhausting you to the bone; the toll that having and caring for children took on your health, the struggle for survival, living gracefully within the limits of one’s life, and even just bearing the aches, pains and frustrations of daily life with grace and love.

Their faith assured them that every small thing was part of the Big Thing called salvation history. No matter who they were – there lives and struggles were a part of that, were joined to Christ’s suffering in love, and yes – would change the world. 

That’s where, in the ancient Christian experience, it all starts. It may certainly lead to big things. It will, hopefully, lead to a peace that surpasses all understanding, even in this life. But no matter how we dress it up, no matter how we adapt it to the life we’re living right now, in this moment, that’s where it starts – not with our hopes, dreams, gifts and talents, but, as today’s Gospel nudges us to see – right here.

How happy are you who are poor: yours is the kingdom of God.

Happy you who are hungry now: you shall be satisfied.

Happy you who weep now: you shall laugh.