Still here.
Lisa Hendey had a “rant” about summer enrichment. It’s here.
I resonate with that. Not that it’s much of a reach for me to do so. I am fairly resolutely anti-activity anyway. It’s that introvert personality that I’ve tried hard not to impose on my own children, being willing to let them do whatever they want. So far, only one of the five (my dance/music/sports/forensics/drama daughter) has even come close to the high-intensity of activity I see in other young people. But even her level of engagement was endurable because it was A) spread out – that is, she did dance only for a few years in her childhood and then lost interest, and so on and B) located nearby for most of the time – that is – I wasn’t driving but five minutes to get her back to school at 5am on Saturday mornings to climb on the bus for a debate meet and so on.
So yes, my position is pretty established on this anyway. I don’t forbid or even actively discourage extracurriculars – and actually (really) offer them in some circumstances (as in – it’s right after school – at school. Wouldn’t that be fun??), but on the parenting continuum, I am very much on the free-range end of things.
A friend of mine has a child involved in a sport. It’s an individual sport and she’s participating at the junior-high/JV level.
They have informal “practice” every day during the summer.
You heard that right.
My friend takes her family away to another part of the world for the entire summer – they leave the last day of school or before, and don’t return until a couple of days before school begins again. They made arrangements, and her child will work to the sports’ goals on her own over the summer, but still. My friend is wondering how long this idyllic summer can be sustained, as her children get older. She’ll hang on for as long as she can…but still.
So this is our summer.
Joseph played basketball last school year and really likes it. So he went to a week-long basketball camp at the local Catholic high school. Loved it. It was kind of a hassle to get to because it’s on the other side of town, but we managed. It was during Memorial Day week, so it was only four days anyway.
Up to that point, when I thought about the summer, I’d considered Vacation Bible School for Michael (Joseph has aged out of most of them. He’s not disappointed.) – at our parish and/or any of the other two nearby parishes running them. I’d thought about zoo camp. One of Michael’s friends is doing zoo camp, and I’ve heard good things about it.
But those four days of basketball camp changed my mind. Not that it was bad…I just said that it wasn’t. It was great. But we still had to get up relatively early. We had to get up and get ready and be out the door. Our ability to do other things was limited. We were bound, we were held hostage – by basketball camp!
So – forget it, I said. Let’s just hang out.
So we are.
Like today. What did we do?
I got up early – not as early as I wanted, but early enough to get in my walk/run before the others awoke. Got back, banged out some banana muffins and that fantastic lemon-lime-mint sorbet I tweeted about. I find it’s good to cook right after I’ve exercised because I’m oddly enough not hungry then and the energy I have diminishes the temptation to be constantly indulging in “just one more taste.”
The boys awoke and had their breakfast. Went back downstairs to their lair and played legos. Daughter awoke and we drove her to meet a friend from college who happens to live in Birmingham for lunch and a movie. We went from there to the LJCC pool for the next three hours where Michael taught himself how to dive. It was astonishing to watch him. Then back home, where I let them play Wii for a bit. The more Legos and reading time. Dinner for them was popcorn, watermelon, carrots, cheese sticks and homemade chocolate ice cream, eaten to the tune of a new (to them) VeggieTales episodes just added to streaming Netflix. After that, a walk around the neighborhood, where we found the most interesting amber-looking sap oozing out of a tree, a neighbor’s all-rabbit-all-the-time lawn statuary, and a field where Joseph perfected his boomerang-throwing – the boomerang being a prize from the summer reading program.
Then a chapter of Stuart Little, bed, the finale of Top Chef Masters (It was mostly lame and I often cringed at the humiliating and pointless “challenges” these great chefs were subjected to…but still…team Floyd here – very happy to see him win. It was nice to see Susan show up for team Mary Sue as well – such a poignant reminder of what the Food Network used to be before its present flat-out awkward catch-phrase laden lameness), an amazing salad not much more than tomatoes, red lettuce, oil, vinegar and fresh herbs from my “garden” for me and now…a bit o’ blogging.
Tomorrow? More of the same.
We’ll travel a bit this summer. Just a bit – we’re a little tied down by the fact that daughter has a job but no car. That’s fine. This will probably be the last summer she’s here for any length of time. I won’t complain.
Hanging out at the pool watching little boys fling themselves – somehow both trusting and heedlessly into the deep …why would I?
I love this post, and Lisa’s.
I’m pretty similar to you in this regard, I think. I’ve watched younger homeschooling moms sign their kids up for everything under the sun and thought “But wait! Wasn’t homeschooling supposed to allow for more freedom, more organic kidstuff, less pressure to conform to other people’s schedules?”
To each his or her own, of course. But childhood is so short. We have our whole adult lives to schedule every minute (or not, as the case may be). I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.
Sounds perfect!
To play with abandon is grace or at least A grace.
I agree that there, for many, a tendency to overschedule kids. Remember, however, that not all familes can afford either a parent at home or a come-to-the-home sitter and thus don’t have the ability to just hang out. For some, organized summer “camps” and other activities are a necessary form of childcare.
My larger regret is I read to the bottom of your post, Amy: at St. Benedict’s Monastery, where I am spending the week writing, they don’t have the channel Top Chef is on, so I missed the finale last night.
Sounds idyllic. Every once in a while I think I really should sign the kids up for swimming lessons or some such. But usually the impulse dies before I get round to doing anything about it. I know at some point I really will have to do the swimming lessons. But I don’t think this summer is it. Not with a nursing newborn and a toddler who needs daily naps. I mean it takes us two hours to get the weekly grocery shopping done. That’s about as much being tied to a schedule as I can handle right now. (I have played with PeaPod home delivery but their selection is kind of limited and also I ended up getting frustrated when they just don’t bring the peppers I really needed to make dinner.)
Tennis, swimming skiing, riding a bike , just playing outside, a really good book to read on a rainy day, iced tea — ah, Southern summer days.
I think swimming lessons are a necessity at some point (unless a child can teach himself how to swim – and some do! Mine never did. The lessons helped them get over their fear of getting their face wet – that was the big phobia) – but they don’t have to be during the summer. The little boys did their basic lessons that really got them going during the school year – lessons right after school at a pool not too far from their school.
Can’t resist chiming in on the swim lessons. Swimming is a safety skill as well as an activity that can be enjoyed for a lifetime. Volunteers who teach swimming classes are called Water Safety Instructors for a reason!!! With each series of classes young people become more confident in their abilities and learn more and more about how to be safe in and around water and boats. Those who continue through the entire series of classes can often earn some extra money as lifeguards. I was reflecting recently about how much I appreciate the fact that my mother, who could not swim well if at all, made sure that I had the opportunity to take classes on a regular basis. In my opinion it should be offered as part of physical education in schools precisely because it is a life skill.
Oh, I envy you all the unorganized days. Alas, my kids would be too lonely… we are at entering middle school/high school/entering college for the ones who still live at home. I’m striking a balance here. We belong to a beach club – which sounds fancier than it is – so that is one daily excursion.
One kid is going to have a pretty low key summer, because she doesn’t have a job (yet?) except the Saturday vigil organ gig. Maybe she will volunteer at dad’s hospital. Maybe she will hang with her friends (when they’re not working). Maybe she will veg out.
One kid is going to have an extraordinarily busy summer – three weeks on an orchestra tour and then three weeks of us traveling. And he has GOALS for the summer, things like perfecting the All-State audition piece and learning some computer stuff and finishing the (unabridged) Count of Monte Cristo. Actually, I’m not worried about him, because he will have more to do than he can possibly accomplish.
The one I worry about is the 11 yo who would like to sit in front of the computer or XBox all day long. And who will be lonely because there is “no one to play with.” I.e., teens don’t count and his best friend is perpetually booked. We are shutting off the electronics for the summer, but there is an adjustment period. So he is going to camp for a week, and to day camp for another week. And away with us for three weeks. And to climb Mt. Katahdin in August. And he’ll still have five or six weeks of… something. Or nothing.
I’m also trying to come up with a summer schedule for myself, since I will still have to wake up at 6 to get my husband out the door. Might as well use the time, right? Like my son, I have too many things I want to do, and if I don’t organize myself they won’t happen.
I think perhaps I’m waiting to find swimming lessons that are easy for us, that mesh with our schedule, the equivalent to right after school and in a pool not to far from school. So far every time I’ve gone looking I haven’t found any that were close enough or at a convenient time.
I think there are nuances to this – if a kid is self-directed and passionate about something (like music!) – and wants to be super-busy with that activity – fantastic! And older kids definitely need something – employment/volunteer work. I see them as adults – you know? The 11-year old …a challenge!
One thing you might consider when they get older – if you have say three that could use lessons at the same time – is to do private lessons. I would think for three of them (or four – if you include the baby!) it wouldn’t be that much more expensive than a group lesson and the saved time would be worth the difference in cost. That’s actually what we did – with a 4-year old and 8-year old both in need of lessons I took advantage of a guy who offered both group and private lessons and we set it up for after school for a couple of months.
Amy, thanks for your encouragement. Your perspective has value to me because you have been there before (with now-grown kids), and are there now, and will be there again… for all my own kids’ stages. The one who occupies himself is always easy. My daughter will have a hard summer even if she finds a job or volunteers, because she is so nervous about going to college in the fall. I’m hoping she uses that energy in constructive ways (The piano is staring at her! She plans to major in music!), but so far, she’s not.
The 11 yo is at a stage where his brothers needed to be de-zombified over the summer, but were aided by the presence of their friends. For him, it’s only the presence of his favorite books. He desperately needs more exercise, but doesn’t have a passion or a friend to make it fun. For me, it’s a time when I have to do what I see as the right thing (pulling the plug, biking to the lake – 6 miles), and praying for good results, rather than memories of the “bad” summer.
Thank you for your very realistic version of summer. Even the popcorn for dinner sounded familiar! I have been exploring the idea of a summer bucket list -vs- an unscheduled summer myself. So far this summer is the summer of just say no!