More than 18 months later, we talk about Mike at some point or other every day. It’s not belabored, I try to keep it loose, I just respond to where they are and what they say. I try to keep it hopeful, and most of the time at this point, it’s happy things they remember and want to bring up. A happy future (see blog header above) , if we stay the course. It’s usually Joseph, because he remembers more. I don’t know what Michael 
remembers at all.
Today in the car on the way home from school, he – who hardly ever brings up Mike unprompted, said this, out of the blue.
“When I was writing my name today, I started thinking about Daddy.”
I said, “Because his name was Michael, too?”
He nodded.
“How did it make you feel?”
“Sad.”
“What did you do?”
“I put my head down, like this.” And he showed me.
“But sometimes,” he went on,” I feel like Daddy’s talking to me.”
I jumped on it, because I believe it. I’m always looking for signs, always. Never stops.
“What does he say?
“Like he’s saying that he’s in my heart.”
Later he said, “I don’t know what I remember about Daddy in my mind. But I – ” the five-year old struggled to put it into words, ” I feel him.”
I don’t doubt it at all. My prayer is that he keeps listening to the one who didn’t stop being his father that day and is, I’m sure, doing what he can to prompt, point, guide to the Father, which is what he’d try to do on earth, and even more so, I’m certain, now.
